audrarose

So somewhere between helping my five year-old write his name on SIXTEEN valentines (*patience, grasshopper*), excavating my laundry room and fielding work phone calls, I've been thinking about Gibbs and all the reasons he would be so mean to Tony. This is probably due to the fact that "Meat Puzzle" (ick) rocked, plus I'm in the middle of beta-ing a really good NCIS piece (Sekrit message, if you're reading: I'll be done with it tonight *g*)

ANYWAY, thanks to Gibbs thoughts and oceana_'s previous musings about Gibbs' past, I came up with this brief, pre-slash character study, taking place post "Meat Puzzle" (ick). Whatever. It's so short I hesitate to give it a title. *g*

Un-beta-ed. I never met a run-on I didn't like.



Gibbs knows that by the end of the week they will start to shake it off. He will watch each of them reach that point where the terrible things they’ve seen this time will hold no more power than all the other terrible things they’ve seen; when puzzles and needles and near-failure will become just a few more shadows.

And if Tony is too quiet this time, when Tony is never quiet, then maybe that means it will take just a little longer for those images to fade for some of them. But it won’t hurt to reassure. He can give Tony that much – give himself that much, at least.

So as Tony watches the tape again, watches Jonathan talk of terrible secrets again, Gibbs touches Tony’s shoulder - once, briefly - and says, “You did good on this.”

He’s caught Tony by surprise. He knows by the way Tony’s shoulder jumps beneath his touch and by the way Tony turns too quickly to face him, his expression for once unguarded. In the long seconds before Tony smiles, the way Tony always smiles, Gibbs starts to suspect that Tony might have terrible secrets, too. Gibbs is too familiar with private demons not to recognize them when he sees them.

If Tony were one of the others he might ask, but this is Tony, and the last thing Gibbs wants is to know Tony’s secrets. Tony is already too close, too dangerous, too present in the night when Gibbs is weary of pretending that he doesn’t want what is right in front of him.

And really, the choice was made long ago, on a beach with someone else who used to smile like Tony does; on an afternoon when Gibbs finally accepted that to live in the world he’d chosen, he would have to trade sharing someone else’s secrets for keeping his own. He won’t waste all those years that he spent building walls against temptation, even if the universe just laughs and sends temptation through the front door.

So Gibbs just nods and walks away. He lets Tony keep his secrets. He keeps his own safe a little longer.



Completely unrelated, but is there anyone else out there watching the new Battlestar Galactica who really wants Helo and the cylon-Boomer to be together? How twisted is that? And does this count as a het ship when she's a MACHINE? Just wondering.